I have gone through the page and put the proper narrative story to bring in the final frame of the picture.
Writing Project #1 I never was attracted to the obvious, I never played it safe. I never wanted the same shirt as someone else. I certainly never thought that’s the way it was. I never felt settled. I certainly didn’t want to stay the same. I would never do what was expected of me. I always went way to fast. I rolled the dice twice when I should have held them in my hand.
College turned out to be beneficial; it supplied the discipline that was essential. It put terms and explanations to the things I already knew intuitively. It supplied validity to the proclamations that I constantly announce. My own words are now building up speed and weight of wisdom on par with the greatest minds of our time. It brought a silence to my days filled with white noise and the buzzing of power wires.
I got halfway through two different semesters of two different junior colleges on two different occasions. My heart was not in it. I liked working and being free and acting like an adult with my fake ID.I loved have older friends and a tiny studio in an ally way, one block from the southern California beach. I loved the freedom. I flourished as I basked in the lack of obligation. Plus I had my entire future ahead of me and I really didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up when it came to things that required an education.
The language I used began to improve and I was slightly less confrontational. My communication skills in all environments shot up, and they were extremely honed to begin with. Not only did my handwriting improve but the actual act of writing on the page became literally more clear and easier to read and follow. The miss-spellings plummeted and the need to proof read and a desire and need to get the project correct shot upward.
Even to this day people ask what college I’m going to. I have been explaining that I didn’t go to college for about twenty years. They are always surprised I didn’t go. My family and friends are of such a lifestyle that even without a proper education I have known more than many but without that piece of
paper to validate myself to the common inside the box thinking type of persons. When I was aggressive id laugh at their stupidity, when I was sensitive I felt like I let everybody down, when things were going my way it didn’t matter. When my job felt like it completely sucked with no end in sight, Id fill with regrets again. At least my crappy side job could be of a higher quality.
I started to see the world differently. The different decisions and precedents I had set would need to be counteracted by an opposing internal force. I felt as if I must begin the process of clarifying my voice in order to get what I truly desire. I have seen too many wrongs and I want to make them apparent to all. Speaking isn’t enough .Speaking, thinking, writing, doing and succeeding is not a, nine to five job. It’s an all consuming lifestyle.
Don’t get me wrong. I did things some people can’t imagine happening and some things people don’t even realize can happen. I have easily had nights, years, weekends, months and moments just as insane as Hemmingway and as crazy and debaucheries as Henry Miller. The things I did while others went to school gave me an education you cannot apply for, and very few can afford. I've been treated by the rich and famous and I’ve been welcomed by the people of the streets and the underbelly. Sociologically I am the definition of well rounded.
After I have succeeded in the acquisition of a degree I have not yet chosen I will be continuing on in a similar lifestyle to the present, only now I will carry with me, discipline, knowledge, confidence. I’ll get respect from those who haven’t given it and I will be officially qualified to change my world. I will have a degree and piece of paper to show others that I have completed an important cycle of life in a first world country.There will always be more than one me, inside myself, but like a great general I must someday put my wars aside, because my party wants me to run for public office. Sociologically I am the definition of well rounded.
No comments:
Post a Comment